Now that I have that out the way, let me tell you how I prepared my body and mind for the events of that weekend. I am not the best deadlifter in the world, far from it, but it is one of my favorite lifts. I attack every training session with the intent of becoming the best. Just before a lift, I envision ripping the weight off the floor as fast as possible. I replay this thought over and over, and it’s been ongoing for years now. Mental reps.
Encompassing my rage, and being able to use it as a tool to harness my power, is something I have always practiced.
I don’t get angry—that only distracts me from my focus. Learn the difference between the two and you will gain strength that will seem limitless. In The Cage, I wanted to be challenged by something that I could potentially lose, and that meant going up against one of the best. I’ve done a single rep every 30 seconds for a set number of reps before in training. Those sessions were always mentally taxing and I thrived on it. After much thought, I decided I wanted to bring that kind of training into The Cage, since I knew it had never been done before.
For weeks before every session, for every set, I repeatedly told myself that I would not lose. Every night, I thought about how it would go. Maybe we’d do 30 reps, 30-40 minutes tops. Little did I know that the event would go on for an hour and a half with over double the reps I anticipated. There was a brief moment when we went back and forth, rep for rep very quickly, and I wasn’t prepared for it conditioning wise, but I knew I was going to fight through it all. After we hit 30+ reps, the only thought I could muster was “pull one more.” I kept pulling one after the other, not wanting to fail in front of everyone. Being the underdog, I felt like I owed a win to too many people—to my family back home and especially my son.
At the end of the day, I think if I would have thought of potentially doing 65 reps, it may have defeated me. I convinced myself that it was only one rep. Just one rep every time I got on the platform. With that mindset, I tried to stay as consistent as possible; pick it up and put it down, do not lose, and just breathe. Once we were in the 50s, I noticed my body starting to slow down a bit, but none of that mattered to me. The one thing I desired more than anything that day was holding together my pride and showing what I was made of. When rep 60 came, I wanted it to be over. I was getting hungry and tired, but then I noticed Steve’s reps starting to change. I convinced my mind that he wouldn’t make it and reminded myself I only had to pull one more than him to keep the pace. I needed to keep moving no matter what. After I hit my 63rd rep, it was his turn...and the bar didn’t budge. At that moment, I didn’t want it to be over. I told myself at that point that I would have pulled that bar for the next three days if that’s what it took. I screamed in Steve’s face to pick up the bar. After it didn’t move again, I decided to do a couple more reps to finish it off strong. I felt accomplished, powerful, and unstoppable.
I was in a place in my mind that’s become comfortable for me. A place of pain and suffering, one that makes anything my body goes through seem like a walk in the park. After it was over and I got a minute to collect myself, my body decided it was going to pay me back for what I made it do. The adrenaline was gone and I hit the floor. It’s been a long road back, but it’s made me stronger. My recovery has gotten better and I am back to lifting some weights again. This experience has given me more insight into my ability to push myself even further than I could have ever imagined.